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Friday, September 16, 2016

Just Shut Up



Contrary to what has been said, growing older doesn't always make you wiser.  Actually, aging makes you think you know everything with absolute certainty.  And yet, ironically, you realize you know practically nothing.  Real dilemma, huh?
 
One thing that I've learned and haven't enjoyed the lesson one bit is that often you JUST NEED TO SHUT UP.  Now, the hubby---he not only didn't enjoy the lesson, he flat hasn't learned it. You know, kind of like a bad perm (for those of you who remember or have had any experience with such).  You sit through endless minutes of stinky solutions and tight wound curls and wet mess. It's finally over, the curlers all removed and Crap! hair is still straight. It just didn't take.  Like that, with the old guy, some lessons just don't take.
 
I wish that I could climb up on my beautiful high horse and say, "I've learned that lesson well."  That wouldn't be totally true.  I have a mouth which can be far ahead of my sensible brain. Opinions, even strong ones are allowable. Not yours alone, unfortunately. When you take your opinions and beliefs and try to beat others to death with them, they seem to lose their value.
 
It's not easy to keep your mouth shut, sometimes. Not easy to think before you let things come spilling out.  Like when your grown children, family or friends you love are not living their lives like you think is right---you have a right to an opinion but it's not your life, it's theirs. Think about it, if you're so smart, why aren't they doing things your way?
 
No question, in this country of lying dirty politics, entitled victims and disrespectful privileged citizens, there are some real wrongs that need to be righted.  I think we do need to speak up and speak out. Our right to an opinion doesn't mean the right to bore the pants off the people we're sharing the earth with.   It could get really lonely, galloping around on your lofty perch or living out your years with nothing but your convictions keeping you company. If the horse is dead, bury it already. The most famous mime of all time said,
      It's good to shut up sometimes.---Marcel Marceau

Friday, September 9, 2016

Hanging on to Happy

I suppose that I write often about finding your happy place.  The world these days (and truthfully throughout time) is a beautiful but sometimes sad and horrid place. I read a quote that I like, Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace during the storm.
 
This is true, the storms will come.  Life is unpredictable and complicated, even for those that you might think have a perfect life.   I greatly respect those that have their faith and find comfort in "putting things in their God's hands".  For me, life taught me very early on that I was going to need to take care of myself.  I'm not good at trusting in someone else to fix my problems or soothe my heart. I do constantly strive to keep things in balance. 
 
I doubt that very many human beings are immune to feeling deeply sad or outraged at life's cruel unfairness or just plan tired and weary.  Whether on a close and personal level or as a part of mankind, the sad is very persistant in trying to rob us of our happiness. So, how do you hang on to happiness? 
 
Unfortunately, there is no magic cure. Even a caring diety wouldn't always give you the answer that you want to your problems.  Life is not a big whole, it's pieces---thousands of parts of all sizes and importance, stacked and piled and strung out. You have the choice of how you organize those pieces. When some are broken, or you've worn them out or they just don't seem to fit, YOU have to decide what is to be done with that piece of your life.  Maybe it can be fixed or perhaps you need to find a new piece.  If something is particularly painful or worrisome, it might not can be thrown out, but it can be pushed down or away.  Make it smaller or more distant, don't carry it around on your heart until all the good and valuable parts of your life are diminished and darkened by the bad and sad.
 
This isn't a Pollyanna---just get over it and accept point of view. This is reality.  We are small in the overall scheme of things. I have a friend that I recently told how much I appreciated that on social media, etc. she posts beautiful pictures of nature, sweet animals and mostly positive sharing. I've found that even when I'm having a bad day, I can't help but feel joy when I see those good things.
 
It sometimes is just a very small piece that you can share and sometimes you could give every piece that you possess and it would make no difference. You can hang on to happy, but it often means letting go of other things. You are not solely responsible for the well being of every person in your family or the world. You are responsible for your own happiness.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Does He Have the Right?



    Did Mr. Kaepernick have the right to not stand up for the Star Spangled Banner and the flag? Absolutely, he had the right. Should he have exercised his right at the football game? Absolutely not.
    Why would I be so sure of this? Because the American flag is the symbol of his rights. It represents ALL Americans and their guaranteed liberties.  It represents the unity of America. We all should believe in the freedoms that are protected for United States citizens on American soil.  Especially, if you have grievances, if you're protesting what you believe to be injustices in this country---you should be waving that flag proudly over your head. Under the protecting blanket of the stars and stripes you are promised that you can stand up, speak out and fight for change, with no punishment.
    We should stand and honor the flag together, always in unity. Then you are free to go your own way and exercise your right to correct the wrongs.  Freedom isn't the same as disrepect.  Just because you're allowed to do or say something doesn't mean it's the decent thing to do. The flag should never be dishonored, it should never be a question that it fly over American soil.  In all public places, any place (including our public schools) that is supported and sustained by the citizens tax dollars, it should be displayed.  It should not be accepted or allowed that it be desecrated or disrepected.
    We can be a diverse melting pot of a country, we can disagree and loudly protest. We can even rant and rave and cast our vote in defiance of our government. We should be able to agree on one truth, we are FREE and we have a national anthem and a flag that are symbols of that one truth.  It seems that we've become very confused in this country about what our rights are and what our responsibilities are as citizens to be a part of a unified people.  Since I have a right to my opinion, I say that Colin Kaepernick has many options and opportunities, both financial and celebrity wise, to make his protests public and to contribute to changing what he sees as a bad situtation. His flag is MY flag and we both should respect our flag and our country.